


Snapshots

by Octpet



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dont tell, F/M, He shows up but shhh, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Josh Dun is protective, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Some other band people, WAIT DAMMIT, a bit of self harm, mentions of brendon urie - Freeform, spoiler alert i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:19:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octpet/pseuds/Octpet
Summary: Catheryn Klein is a concert photographer, a good one, though she'll never admit it. She gets asked to join Twenty One Pilots on the Emotional Roadshow Tour.Cat finds herself really clicking with the drummer Josh Dun but struggles juggling, working, tour life, Relationships, CLIQUE drama, and hardest of all, mental health. On top of it all she's unhappy with the direction her life is going!(DISCLAMER: I have not been on tour with a band, especially not in europe so I have no clue what the ins and outs of the process is. Please forgive and inaccuracies, ETC.)ENJOY  <33 |-/





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I've been working on for a bit, It's not the best thing I've ever written but I'm having fun writing it. 
> 
> The main character is a bit personal to me, she's not exactly me at all but I'm also a concert photographer, but I've never toured with a band so I don't know the exact details of day to day life so don't take this as gospel. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy! Clique for life! |-/

I nervously tapped the side of my laptop, my leg bouncing to the same rhythm as I stared at the email. 

"Hello, I'm Andrew Weiss, tour manager for Twenty One Pilots. We've been a fan of your work for a while and we love the pictures you took last time you shot for us. We're looking for a photographer to travel with us on the 2nd and possibly 3rd leg of our "Emotional Roadshow" tour. This would mean touring from October 22 to March 5th. Let me know as soon as possible if you can."

I put the cup of noodles down on my messy desk and hit reply, furiously typing. Pure excitement and adrenaline pumped through my veins and my fingers started to shake. Twenty One Pilots sure as hell wasn't my favorite band but they were by far the most popular I've ever gotten the opportunity to shoot for. 

I didn't really have anything planned for then, thankfully it's august so it's early enough that I don't have any plans for those months. 

Shit

I sat back and closed my eyes. 

My best friends wedding. 

Tony's fucking wedding. 

Fuck.

I groaned and leaned my head back, hitting it on the back of the chair. It's on February 18th. I was gonna have to miss it. I crossed my arms and looked at my phone. 

I grabbed it and opened Tony's text stream. 

'Hey T-bird, guess what?'

'What?!' He responded almost immediately after. 

'Guess who's going on tour with Twenty One Pilots?'

It was on three dots for maybe half a second. 

'I SWEAR TO GOD FUCKER IF YOU'RE PULLING MY HOMOSEXUAL LEG I'M GOING TO KICK YOU BISEXUAL ASS'

'Well I'm glad the NSA agent that reads our texts now has all the exposition they need' 

'CONFIRM'

'Yes it's me, they just emailed me and I think I'm gonna say yes.'

Voice message  
"YOU THINK?!"

I bit my lip, it usually makes me laugh when he does that but not this time. 

'T it goes through March' I said. 

Three dots

They go away

Again

Again

'oh'

'I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm gonna go I just can't miss you and Jim's wedding.'

'You know he hates it when you call him Jim.' He said. I smirked. 

'you have to do this, Cat.'

'I don't have to do anything except support my best friend.'

'say yes before I email them for you.' 

I pressed my lips together and looked at my finished email. 

'Are you sure?' I asked.

'of course I'm sure now go travel and shit' He said. I held my breath and pressed send. 

"Fuck" I said letting out that breath. 

Maybe... What if I made a mistake?


	2. X-files

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I decided to have an awkward first meeting because that's how I live my life.

I took a huge breath. It's my first time really meeting the band. The tour was starting tomorrow and the first order of business was getting on a plane to Moscow for the first show of this leg of the tour. 

I got through security and walked to my gate. 

"Catheryn!" I heard. I looked to it and saw Twenty One Pilot's manager yelled waving his arm widely. I smiled and waved back, walking over to them. "Welcome" Andrew said. 

"Thanks." I said. "But please call me Cat." 

He looked down at my "I want to believe shirt." and he smirked. I looked at him a bit confused. 

"I know someone who would love that shirt." 

He looked back. 

"Hey Josh" He called. Josh looked up, his beanie shifting a bit revealing a bit of his red hair. "Come 'ere" He said Josh jumped up and walked up to us smiling. He looked at my shirt and his eyes lit up. 

"You like X-Files" He said. I smiled. 

"Yes! I love X-files!!" I said excitement surging through me. He smiled wider. 

"Tyler you're out of the band!" He cried. 

"Fuck!" Tyler cried. A mother glared at him. "sorry" He said offering a smile. I laughed and covered my mouth. 

"A little hitch," I said. "I can't sing or rap."I said. 

"fuck" he cursed under his breath. "Tyler you're back in the band!" 

"Yesss" He said pumping his fist. 

"I guess you can go back to taking pictures." He said. I sighed. 

"Thanks, something I'm comfortable with." I said smiling. He smiled back and we locked eyes for a bit. I intook a sharp breath and looked at my battered old Dr. Martens. 

"So Moscow." I said breaking the silence. 

"Yeah, Have you ever been?" 

"No" I said. "Never." 

"Me neither" He said. "I'm excited though"

"Me too" I said. There was a long silence and we stared at each other for a moment. I realized I never introduced myself. 

"Cat" I said sticking my hand out. 

"Where!?" He looked around. I furrowed my brows. 

"No that's my name." I said. His face turned bright red and he shook my hand. 

"Sorry" 

"No it's fine." I laughed. "Happens more than you might think." I paused. "I'm the new photographer." I said flinging my shoulder camera bag around to my front and patting my hands with it. 

"Oh sick" He said with genuine excitement. "We're excited to have you, Andy showed us your work." He said. "It's really good." 

My smile wavered, I felt like I was lying to him, I'm really not that good. I'm just lucky. 

"I'm alright" I said shrugging and scratching my arm, pulling my sleeve down more. His smile fell and his head cocked, but he shook it off. "I'm gonna-Get some gum." I said pointing behind me. His face lit up again. 

"Oh! Me too, Tyler watch my stuff." He said. Tyler raised a thumbs up, not looking up from his phone. 

"Sick" He said and we started for the store. 

"So are you from around here?" Josh asked. 

"Born and raised New Yorker." I said smiling proudly. 

"Ohio" He said pointing to himself. 

"Yeah I.. I know." I said the words coming out before I could even think about it. He scratched the back of his head and laughed. 

"I always forget that people know things about me." He said. "Makes conversations pretty one sided." 

I looked at a cute little girl pass, swinging an Alice in Wonderland toy around in her tiny fist. I looked back to Josh. 

"I can always pretend." I smiled. "Tell me about yourself, J-j--What's your name again?" 

He looked up at me smiling, his eyes twinkling like tiny fireworks going off in his pupils. 

"Josh Dun" He said. "I'm 28 years old, I'm in a band called Twenty One Pilots-"

"A band?!" I asked feigning shock. He laughed. 

"This is ridiculous." He said.

"No it's not, keep going."

"Well I... Like X-files, tattoos and skateboarding." He said. "Oh and Tyler, Tyler's cool"

"Oh, who's Tyler??"

"You just-" He hesitated but smiled. "He's the other guy in my band-"

"Only two people?" 

"Yep" He said popping the P. "He's pretty sick." 

I looked forward finally and realized we were somewhere completely different. 

"Uh, where are we?"

"Well that's a bit of a stretch but we're at the airport you're-"

"No seriously." I said. We both stopped and looked around. It was so crowded in this part of the airport. 

"Let's get some gum and find our gate again." He said. 

We walked into the closest one of those "Newsstand" stores and started looking around. I grabbed my favorite gum and started checking out, Josh was looking at the magazines. 

"Hey check it out." Josh said. I looked up to see him smiling and holding a "Rock Sound" Magazine with him and Tyler on it. I laughed and looked back to the cashier to pay. She looked at me with wide eyes. 

"Is he really on that magazine." She said, holding my chain just over my hand but not dropping it into my hand.

"Oh uh.. no he's just a look alike." I said. She looked disappointed and dropped the change.

Josh walked up behind me and dropped a copy of the magazine and a pack of gum. I rolled my eyes. He payed and we faced the crowd again.

I popped a piece of gum in my mouth and we followed the signs back to our gate.


	3. Plane, skateboards and a DSLR

I snapped awake and gasped looking around. I realized I had fallen asleep...on Andrew. He was asleep straight up. 

I looked forward and saw Josh asleep on Tyler's shoulder and Tyler on his phone. I smiled and leaned back in my seat. I pulled out my laptop and opened it. 

BING

Please put all your laptops and cellphones up and return your seats to the upright position. 

I groaned and angrily slammed my laptop closed and shoved it back into my backpack. 

"Morning" Andrew said groggily rubbing his eyes. 

"Morning." I replied zipping up my backpack. 

"We're here?" He asked. 

"Uh, yeah, I think?" 

"Oh shit" He said rubbing his eyes more. He looked over and Josh was still sleep, Tyler still on his phone bobbing his head to a song on his noise cancelling headphones. "Guys" he said leaning over at them. They didn't hear. "GUYS!" He hit Tyler's arm. Tyler yanked them off and moved his whole body to face us, pushing Josh off of him and making him snort hilariously awake. I started giggling, I couldn't help myself, I'm super fucky in the mornings. 

"Wha-What's happening?" He asked, Looking around groggily. 

"We're in Moscow" I said smiling. He smiled back brightly and looked to Tyler. The plan jolted with turbulence and he grabbed Tyler's arm. I suppressed my laughter. 

\-------------------

"We have 6 hours until the show." Andrew said, shoving the last of his shit into his bunk lazily. I got put on this bus too for some reason. 

"Sick" I said smiling. 

"Well, I'm gonna sleep." Tyler said. Standing up and climbing into his bunk. 

"Do you want to do something?" Josh asked. I looked at him, he was looking at me. 

"Yeah sure." I said. 

"Can you skate?"

"Yeah" I said. "But I didn't bring a board."

"Tyler, can Cat borrow your board?"

An incoherent noise came from Tyler's bunk.

"Sweet, thanks, your back in the band Tyler." Josh said standing up.

A small "yayyy" came from Tyler. I laughed and stood with Josh. 

"Let's go." He said patting my arm. I followed him out of the bus and he opened the bottom hatch and he handed me a Pastel blue penny board. 

We started skating around Moscow. It was freezing. I shoved my hands in my sweatshirt pocket as we rode. 

He started playing music on his phone and I watched him start taking a snapchat. I smiled and pulled out my phone. I watched him posting it. 

"What's your snapchat?" He asked. "May I say Snapcat" 

"You most definitely may not." I said. 

"It's --------" I said. He added me and I added him back. I took an instastory of him skating next to me and posted it. 

"Hey" Josh said hopping off of his board. I stopped and looked back at him. "Wanna go to red square?" He asked pointing to the metro stop. 

"Yeah!" I said, kicking the board up and grabbing it. He smiled and did the same going down the stairs.

He somehow could glean anything from the map and we ended up in red square. 

St. Basil's Cathedral loomed over us. It was taller than I thought it was. And intensely more impressive then I ever imagined. 

"Holy shit." I said looking up. My beanie slid off and fell on the concret. "Oh!" I said grabbing my head where the beanie used to be. 

Josh appeared in front of me with the the beanie and a huge smile. I grabbed it and shoved it back over my dirty green hair. 

"I like your hair by the way." He said. 

"Thanks, just to address the FAQ, no I'm not irish, yes I smoke weed but I didn't dye it because of that." I said. 

"Get a lot of questions?" He asked

"Oh yeah." I said rolling my eyes. He looked at the Cathedral and his eyes lit up. I wanted to run my hands through his red hair but I didn't.

I heard russian being spoken very fast right next to me. I looked to him. It was a man dressed as Joseph Stalin. 

"Cat!" Josh cried. "Take my picture with Joseph Stalin." He said shoving her phone into my hand. He ran up beside Stalin and put his arm around his shoulder. Josh smiled and Stalin did a stupid pose like a statue. I took a few pictures and Josh broke free taking the phone and looking at the pictures. 

"Thanks photographer." He said. 

"Just doing my job." I said. 

"Yeah finally." he said rolling his eyes. 

"Hey!" I cried. "Did you want me to take pictures of you sleeping on the plane?!" 

"Of course! What could possibly be more interesting than me sleeping?!"

"Tyler sleeping!" I cried outstretching my arms. 

"Oh shit you're right." He said. I smiled and crossed my arms. I pulled out my phone and opened the camera. 

"Pose in front of the Cathedral." I said. He stood straight as a board and smiled the largest smile I've ever seen him wear. I took a few pictures. 

"You're adorable." It slipped out. SHIT. 

His smile widened and his face turned red.

"Wow thanks." He said. 

"Oh uh, sorry." I said scratching the back of my head. "That just came out." 

"No it's fine." He said. He paused. "I... Would you send me those pictures?" He asked.

"Yeah" I handed him my phone and he typed in his number. I sent them to him and added him to my contacts, biting the inside of my mouth as hard as I could. I looked up at him and he was rubbing his mouth.


	4. A bus, a bomb threat, a hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys I know Chef's special and Mutemath didn't open for TOP in europe but shshhhshhshhhhhh. Go with it <3.

"You ready to make me look good?" Josh asked. 

"Oh shit, wait that's my job?" I asked. I looked to Tyler. "That's gonna be a bit too hard for me, I don't think I can do that." I said. Josh put his hand on his chest, feigning offence and Tyler laughed. 

"I'm so offended." Josh said. 

"I'm kidding Josh, or course, there's no way I could make you look bad." I said. He looked at me and smiled a strange smile. Like he was searching me. 

"Guys" Andrew said poking his head in. "Five minutes." He said. 

Josh and Tyler nodded. 

"Wait!" I said, my filter failing to catch my words. "Can I get... a selfie?"

"Of course." Tyler said leaping forward. Josh followed. They both fell into place at my shoulders and I took a selfie.

"Thanks guys! Break a leg!" I called after them." 

"Make us look good!" Tyler said. I smiled and followed them out but went a different way to get to the photo pit. The pit already had a few photographers photographing the opening act, Chef special. 

I made my way to my spot and started shooting them as a warm up. 

The finished. 

The lights went down and the crowd screamed. The lights were down for a long while and I fiddled with my phone for a bit, snapping a bit of the crowd and the stage.

The TVs in the back flipped on and I raised my camera. 

After that everything was a blur. Josh and Tyler were on stage being absolutely incredible and insane. They got four songs in and I felt hands on my shoulder. I lowered my camera and looked up. It was a guard. 

"Oh I'm The band's photographer I don't have to leave." I said showing my pass. 

"No we're shutting down." Suddenly Josh and Tyler stopped playing. Every seemed confused and people cried out in disappointment. 

"Why?"

"Bomb threat." He said. My eyes widened. 

"Oh my god." I said. 

"Let's get out of here." He said. 

He lead me out of the photo pit and we went backstage. We walked out to the back to the tour bus. I turned to the security guard. 

"Thank you" I said. 

"No problem ma'am." He said. He had a thick russian accent but a face like a dad. 

I hopped on the bus and saw Tyler and Josh. They were both sitting on the couch, Tyler had his head in his hands and his head in his hands. Josh was just sitting there. He looked over at me, then looked at his phone. He started texting. I looked down at my camera and shut it off. 

I sat on the couch across from them and the bus started moving. Andrew popped out of his bunk and landed hard holding a piece of paper. 

"I'm sorry we had to do that guys." He said. "The venue made us."

"No it's fine, I understand" Tyler said. My phone started buzzing. Then it started ringing. 

I looked at my phone and stood up. It was Tony. I furrowed my brows and walked into the bunk hall. 

"Hey T-bone." I said. 

"Cat are you alright?" He asked. "There was a bomb threat" He said. 

"Yeah everyone's fine, we're leaving the venue now." I said. 

"Good" He said. "SHE'S FINE JIMMY" He called out of the phone. I laughed. 

"Tell Jim I say hi." 

"You know he hates that."

"I know, and yet here we are, you, me and Jim."

"HEY STOP CALLING ME JIM CATHERYN" Jimmy cried. 

"You put me on speaker phone!" I cried. "You're a damned traitor.I'm changing your contact name to Benedict Arnold." 

"HA Ha very funny." He said. 

"I've gotta go." I said looking back at Josh. He looked a bit shook, blankly scrolling through his phone. but Tyler looked even more so. He wasn't showing it but he would look over at Josh every once in awhile and he was sitting right next to him even though the whole couch was open.

"Alright kiddo, Call me later, I want regular updates besides your social fucking media." He said. He hates social media. Jimmy loves it though, 30K followers on insta and he daily vlogs. They're quite the duo. 

"Alright, I will, you too." I said. 

"You know I will." He said. 

"Bye, Love you." I said. 

"Love you too kid." 

I hung up and crossed my arms, a pang of longing hit my chest. I was getting homesick. Shit. 

I turned around and looked at them again. They were talking. Josh was still on his phone. 

I sat down next to Andrew and across from Josh.

"Sorry" 

"Who was that?" Josh asked not even looking up from his phone. 

"My best friend Tony," I said. "Oh and his Fiance Jimmy who was yelling at me." 

He looked up from his phone and I smiled at him. He swallowed. I furrowed my brows. He looked back down at his phone and the bus pulled into a restaurant parking lot. It was a russian McDonald's. We climbed out but I grabbed Josh's arm and pulled him behind the bus. 

"Woah" He said. 

"Are you alright?" I asked. 

"Wha-"

"You've been acting weird a bit weird, are you alright?" 

"I feel bad. We just let down thousands of people and I can't even tweet about it." He said avoiding eye contact.

"Dude it was a bomb threat, there was already a bombing here they're just being cautious. Maybe they saved hundreds of lives with that evacuation." I said leaning towards him. 

"Maybe." He said finally making eye contact with me. 

I pressed my lips together and grabbed his arm squeezing it. He looked at me and smiled. 

"Feel better?" 

"Yeah, a bit." He said. I pulled him into a hug and we hugged for a long while, burying my face into his sweatshirt. He pressed his face into the top of my shoulder. We pulled away and looked at each other. He leaned forward a bit... like.. he was gong to kiss me. I panicked and slid my arm into his and started towards the McDonalds.


	5. Snow day

The next few stops went very well. The shows were amazing, I took some backstage promo pictures whenever I could. I was always taking pictures, always working. The next stop was Hamburg, which was very exciting because I speak German. 

We walked down the street looking around, light snow fell around us on the streets that seemed so silent despite the cars and people moving around and talking. 

I snapped a few pictures of the city. 

I dropped the camera after taking a picture of a statue and smiled flipping through the pictures. 

Something slammed into my back. 

"OI!" I cried turning around angrily, expecting to find a small child. It was Josh with a huge smile. 

"Oh we're on fucker." 

I lunged for the snow on a planter and scooped it into a ball and threw it at him. He skidded out of the way and laughed as he launched one my way. I jumped out of the way guarding my camera. 

"Hey! You better not break my fucking camera or I will end your life." I growled shoving my camera under my sweatshirt. 

"Nothing is safe!" He cried chucking another snowball. I moved and it hit me on the side. "Maybe If I broke that thing you'd actually hang out with me." He said. We both kinda stopped and looked at each other. I furrowed my brows. 

"If you break this camera I'll have to leave the tour." I said. "And my job isn't to hang out with you Josh. I'm a photographer." I said. He frowned and looked at the snowball he was packing in his hands. He smashed it in his fist, obliterating it. 

"I love hanging out with you but... you hired me." I said. "And maybe if I do well we'll be able to tour together again." I said. He didn't seem to fully understand I was trying to stay with him by working all the time like this.

He scratched his arm. Someone knocked into me by accident and I stumbled forward and looked at them. 

'oh my goodness I'm so sorry!' the woman said in german. 

'no worries,' I said, pushing my hair back into it's place behind my ear. She smiled and nodded to me going back to speed walking.

"You speak German?" Josh asked walking up to me. 

"Ja" I said smiling. I pulled out my camera noticing the snow balancing on his hair. "Bend down to my level." I said grabbing his shoulder and pushing him down. He half frowned and complied. I took a picture and showed it to him. Every detail beautiful, the snow daintily on his lashes and hair and he looked ethereal. 

"That's a good picture." He said the smile returning to his face. I smiled at him and my eyes were drawn to his hair again. Snow was starting to accumulate a bit. I couldn't stop myself. I ran my fingers through his hair. It was soft and warm and felt... incredible. 

He leaned forward and before I knew it my lips were pressed against his. I slid my hand around his neck and pulled myself closer to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer to him. My camera jabbed into my chest and I pulled it out of the way. We kissed for a long time in the snow. 

He pulled away.

"I really like you, Cat." He said. 

"I figured." I shrugged picking at a piece of melting ice imbedded in his sweatshirt. 

"Do you-"

"You're ridiculous." I said kissing him again. He pulled away. 

"Say yes."

"Yes I do like you, I like you a lot." I laughed. He laughed too and lifted me up and spun me a bit. 

"Wow you're a lot lighter than you look." He said. I shrugged. 

"I wear a lot of baggy clothes." 

"I wasn't calling you fat, just for the record." He said. 

"I know, I'm a rational person." I laughed. He slid his hand into mine and we started walking back to the bus. 

"Should.. The other guys know?" I asked. 

"Oh" He said stopping. "Probably not." He said. 

I turned and grabbed his face pulling it towards my face. We kissed again and pulled away. 

"Ok, later." I said biting my lip. He nodded and we went back to walking side by side.


	6. Second Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know mutemath didn't tour with them in europe BUT I LOVE THEM SO LET ME LIVE.

I walked backstage before the show ended and waited for Josh to get off. I watched them perform the last song and smiled. 

Josh stood on top of his drum throne and waved to the crowd. I smiled he looked back at me and saw me. I smiled and raised my camera. I took a picture of him looking back at me, then he chucked his drumsticks into the crowds. He waved and jumped down off of his drum throne and drum stand. 

I smiled as we locked eyes and he embraced me, swinging me around, our faces almost touching as we smiled and looked at each other. 

"You did so well!" I cried over the crowd yelling, 'ENCORE ENCORE ENCORE' as he put me down.

"You get some good shots?" He asked, his eyes glittering even in the low light.

"Of course." I responded. 

A flash of red hit Josh's shoulder and Josh nodded and followed Tyler back onstage. I smiled and started out to the bus. I literally cannot listen to the last two songs. Goner and Truce. They don't play them every venue but when they do I leave. I just... can't. 

I put my camera back into it's bag and walked next to the bus and hugged myself leaning back on the bus. I knocked my head back and watched my breath appear in the air. 

I bit my lip and felt the warm tears slid down my face. I grabbed the edge of my sleeves and pulled them down further. 

Those songs just.. get me. I listened to them a lot when I was in a tough time in my life, Tony used to sing Trees to me over Skype when I lived in Boston. Now Goner whenever I feel like I'm going to relapse. They're like the only two songs he can play on piano so it's not that deep or impressive or whatever. 

I composed myself and slid back into the bus and slithered into my bunk putting my camera bag on the hook I duct tape to the sides of the bunks. I got stuck on the bottom one, under Josh who was on the top of the three. there wasn't anyone in the middle one. 

I closed my eyes and covered them with my arm. 

I started thinking about Tony again. He does all this good, Being a nurse, and volunteering and shit on top of that. Fuck Jimmy is a veteran for fucks sake. I do... photography. I'm fucking useless. I was delusional thinking this was a good idea I had to leave now.

I heard the bus door open and Josh and Tyler laugh. 

"And did you see me slip trying to get on the piano!" Tyler said laughing. "I almost ate shit!" They both laughed again. 

I heard someone slump onto the couch. 

"Alright, I gotta call Jen back." Tyler said. "I'll be in the back room." I heard him walk past me and go into the back room. 

My phone started buzzing. 

Pause. 

"Cat?" Josh asked. 

"Yeah?" My voice was more broken than I meant it to be. 

"Hey" He said. I felt his hand on my hip and moved my arm from my eyes. "You alright?" He asked. 

"Yeah" I said. "Just thinking." I looked at the Star Wars poster tacked to the top of my bunk. 

"Hey, I didn't know you liked Star Wars." He said squeezing my hip and pulling me towards him. I rolled onto my side and he got onto his knees to be on my level. He grabbed the sides of the bed looking like an animal peering over from the inside of a hole. I smiled and ran my fingers through his fluffy hair. I dragged my hand down the shaved part of his head and rested on the back of his neck. 

"What were you thinking about?" He asked. 

"Shit" I said rubbing my face with my free hand. He rose his eyebrow. "I don't really want to talk about it." He pressed his lips together. 

"If you ever do, please come to me." He said. I smiled and nodded, tucking a bit of hair behind my ear. 

"Promise." He said holding up his pinkey. I smiled wider and interlocked our pinkies. He pulled my pinky, yanking my arm forward and grabbing me by the armpit, dragging me by the arm out to the bunk. I let out a surprised cry then my feet hit the ground. His hands grabbed my hips and- the door opened and I jumped back yanking my phone out and pretending to scroll through it. Josh did the same. 

"Great show guys!" Andrew cried. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a huge thing of Russian Vodka. "To celebrate." He said holding it up. 

Fuck I needed a drink.

He took a sip directly from the bottle then handed it to me. I took a big sip too and offered it to Josh. He sipped and put it down.

We drank for a long while, Tyler joined us eventually and played catch up for a bit. The other bands and part of the crew came over and we started having a legitamate party. Andy started playing a playlist of metal, rap, and nostalgic emo that everyone seemed to love.

"I fell in love with the girl at the rock show!" Josh mouthed with the song, grabbing my hand roughly and pulling me up. I stood and stumbled into him laughing. He continued to perform the whole song to me while trying to get me to dance. I refused but sang along to and half heartedly jumped along with him. 

After the song ended we were barely inches apart, I could feel his breath on my face. I heard Tyler giggle behind me, He was laughing about something Paul showed him. I smiled and fell back on the couch between them. 

It was a "How italians" Meme and I laughed, remembering the one on my phone. I stood up to grab my phone out of my bunk but I ran directly into the guitarist for mutemath. Todd

He smiled at me. 

"Well heeelloo" He said flirtily. A slight southern twang to his voice. He was cute. "You're the photographer." He said. 

"I am" I nodded. 

"I follow you on instagram your shit is dope." He said. I smiled, I knew he followed me, he's followed me for a long time actually. 

"Thanks" I said blushing. His hand rested on my hip and he pushed me out of the way so Andy could get to the bathroom. 

"Let's talk in the back, you seem cool." He said. I looked back to Josh, he was doing some inside joke with Tyler, laughing harder than I'd ever seen him laugh. I nodded and we went back to the back room. 

We sat on the couches and talked, sipping on a half finished bottle of brandy someone left back there. He was a cool guy. I took a few pictures and we fucked around on Insta story for a long while, exchanging witty and flirty banter while getting more and more hammered.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up. Every inch of my body burning and my head throbbing. I pushed myself out of bed and rubbed my burning eyes, blindly searching for the coffee cup. 

"Morning" Tyler said. 

"Morning" I said taking my hands off of my eyes and blindly reaching for what I thought was the coffee pot. It burned my hand and I let out a yelp, yanking my hand back. 

"I don't know what you thought was going to happen." He shrugged. 

"Yeah me neither." I said pouring the coffee into a mug. My finger still burned by I ignored it. "Not a morning person?" I asked. 

"I am, I'm just upset." He said. 

"Upset? Why?" I asked. 

"You hurt Josh." He said. 

"What?" I asked confused. 

"Don't act dumb, I know you notice how he acts around you he-"

"He what" I said puffing out my chest. 

"He likes you, a lot." He said. "And you ran off with Todd" 

"I didn't run off with Todd" I sneered. "We were just talking." 

"You were flirting." 

"I didn't mean it" 

"Josh thinks you did." He said. I crossed my arms. 

"We'll talk about it." I said crossing my arms. 

"Don't hurt my best friend." He said sternly.

"I won't" He said. "I promise." He nodded at me and I sat on the couch across from him. Snuggling up to my coffee and holding my legs up to my chest. 

"You slept in your clothes?" He asked. 

"Uh.... yes....." I said realizing I was still in my jeans and t-shirt from yesterday. "I guess" I said.

I drank the rest of my coffee in about 5 minutes and hopped up to change my clothes. I grabbed my one other outfit. That one smelled like shit too. 

"Uh, What do you do if we need to wash clothes?" I asked. 

He stood up and reached into his bunk. He pulled out a bottle of febreeze and handed it to me. 

"Oh, great" I said. 

I sprayed them down and changed into them in the bathroom. I was now in my other pair of black jeans and a Elmakias rule of threes T-shirt. I met him once at a Memphis May Fire show, he was a really cool guy, we went to dinner together. 

I did my makeup, quickly blending some shit onto my eyes and swiping on a pair of uneven wings. 

I sprayed some dry shampoo and salt spray into my hair and messed with it until I was somewhat happy and slid on a plain black beanie. It was Josh's beanie. 

I walked out and ran right into Josh. I stopped and looked up at him. We were locked and he pressed his lips together. 

"Morning" I said.

"Morning" He replied flatly. I searched my mind for anything to keep him there. 

"Where are we today?"

"Munich" He said. 

"Gut" I said in German. "Ich Liebe Munchen" I said. His eyes glittered for a moment then he swallowed. 

"Can I get to the-"

"I'm sorry about last night." I said. "We didn't.. do anything." I said. 

"I know it's... fine." He said. He pushed past me and I stepped forward and crossed my arms. Staring at my feet. 

I heard my phone buzz on my bed and I picked it up and read the message. 4 missed calls from Tony, 2 from Jim and a message reading. 

"Pick up your phone fucker it's important." 

My stomach twisted and I called Tony. 

He picked up almost immediately. 

"You rang?" I asked. 

"THE WEDDING" He said almost yelling. 

"Wha-What about it? What happened?!" 

"We're moving it up to November 20th!" 

"What?! Why the hell would you do that?" I asked pushing my way into the back room. "You realize it's fucking October right?!" 

"I know, you think that Jim hasn't had this shit planned before I even proposed?" He asked. I relaxed a bit. 

"True" I said. Giddiness rose into my throat. 

"So.. I can go to your wedding." I said smiling. 

"Seems you can." He said. I let out an excited cry and he did the same. "I'm so excited." I said tears forming in my eyes. 

"I love you" He said.

"I love you too." I said. 

"Ok, I gotta go, I'm hiding in the bathroom at work." He said, he must be working the night shift again. 

"Ok, get back to work slacker." I ordered. "Call me when you get out." I said.

"Ight" He said.

"Ew" 

"Shut up, Steph won't stop saying it and I caught it." He said with utter distain in his voice.

"Good luck with that," I said grabbing my arm. Homesickness sank in. "I'm forcing you to go back to work" I said smiling. 

"Bye, g'night." He said.

"Good morning" I said. 

"Oh yeah, time difference." He said. "Love you." He said.

"Love you too" I said digging my fingernails into my arm. I hung up and shoved my phone into my pocket. 

I sat on the couch and pushed the curtain off of the window and watched the scenery go by, thinking. 

I'm really not, doing anything... Important. I'm taking pictures of a fucking band and having drama with a man I'm not even dating because I flirted with a some fucking guy.

Well... I guess this is where I am right now, can't change it. 

The door opened and closed. I looked up and saw Josh there. 

"I'm sorry" 

"I kind of overreacted." He said. "We're not, exclusive or anything." 

There was a long awkward pause. 

"Do you want to be?" I asked. 

"Yes" He answered a bit too fast. It didn't bother me. I stood up and lunged at him and pulled him into a kiss. 

We made out for a while and ended up snuggling, me leaning on him resting my legs on the couch as we scrolled through instagram.

I noticed an uptick in tagged pictures and checked it.

My eyes widened and I shot up gasping.

It was a picture of me and Josh, him spinning me right off stage and us smiling at each other. 

"What?" Josh asked concerned, putting a hand on my waist. 

I showed him the pictures. There were people spreading all these rumors and theories. My heart was going a million miles an out. People were threatening me. 

"It'll be fine." He said. I thought for a moment. 

"You're right..." I said. "I guess." 

"It's just a crack theory at this point." He said squeezing me. "As far as they know." He jabbed him hand into my side, tickling me, I giggled and jabbed my elbow into his stomach making him OOF. We settled and he slid his arms around my stomach and pressed his lips into the back of my head. 

He was so comfortable.I nestled the back of my head into the notch in his neck. My phone buzzed. It was my friend Brannon snapchatting me.

I opened it, She asked me how tour was and I snapped a quick pic of me, Josh's face was behind my head looking at his phone, it wasn't explicit that we were cuddling but it said enough. 

'Tour's pretty good' I said and sent it to her. 

"Just Pretty good?" He asked. I shrugged. 

"Yeah I just really don't like the band that's headlining it, like the lead singer is pretty cool but the drummer is always on me." I said playfully. He rolled his eyes. 

"You could say it's pretty good!" He cried, I furrowed my brows then remembered the vine. I laughed. 

"You're ridiculous." I said. My phone buzzed, screen shotted. I furrowed my brows again. I took a video. 

"B Why'd you screenshot?" I asked. 

"Yeah B!" Josh asked in a jokingly deep voice, acting as my hype man. I looked back at him and smiled and stopped the video and sent it to her. 

"Her name's Brannon by the way, She's cool" I said. 

"Good" He said. I smiled. 

"Are you enjoying the tour?" I asked. 

"Best tour we've ever been on" He said. "Especially this leg" He said squeezing me. I let out a soft laugh and pressed my body against his more. 

"Shut up ya big softie, I was genuinely curious how this stacked up against other tours." I said. 

"This one's been great, I've changed a lot and... well we've changed a lot." He said. "Like I looked at where I am now and where I was at the beginning of this tour and... I'm like so different. Like so many great things have happened and I've met so many great peopleeee" He squeezed me again and I hit his leg laughing. "And it just seems strange." 

"Yeah I feel like I've changed in this," I checked my phone calendar. "Less than a month I've been on tour."

"You've been here a month?" He asked. "Seems like it's been a life time." He said feigning aspiration. 

"and for me an eternity." I said looking back at him, out faces barely centimeters apart. 

"I wish this would last an eternity." He said, his voice getting soft and deep. I smiled, pressing my lips together. He looked so fucking hot. The door clicked and we leapt apart. I fell forward finding myself awkwardly laying face forward and pretended to be asleep. 

The door opened and I settled down, not moving, only breathing. 

"Hey dude-" Tyler started loudly, Josh shushed him. 

"Dude" Josh whispered, I imagine pointing at me. 

"Is she asleep?" 

"Yeah." 

"She went pretty hard last night." Tyler said

"Yeah" Josh said. 

"Did you guys work it out?" he asked. 

"Yeah, we're good now." He said. "Just a misunderstanding." 

"Good," He paused. "I think you guys would be great together." 

"I..." Josh started. 

"I know you're not really looking for a relationship right now but I think you guys work well together." 

"Thanks Tyler" Josh said, his tone hopeful. "We'll see." 

The door closed. I pushed myself up and looked back at him with a huge smile on my face. He shook his head smiling back at me. I lunged at him and tackled him back until we were laying on the couch, our faces barely apart. 

"We're Tyler approved." He whispered. 

"We're Tyler approved!!" I yell whispered so he wouldn't hear, raising my arms triumphantly. He grabbed my waist and laughed shaking his head.


	8. Reveal

The picture. 

The fucking picture I sent Brannon went viral in the Clique.

It's all I'm getting tagged in, people are threatening me to stay away from him, that he's theirs, or Halsey's or Tyler's even. 

I felt like shit. I was disappointing the fanbase, I'm not who they wanted. I'm just a photographer. 

I sat on the couch, sulking, my legs pulled into my chest. Looking out the window. We were in London, we have been for a few hours and I've just been watching the sun rise and the people melt into the streets and start their days. 

My phone buzzed and I picked it up. 

'Hey greenie, I see you over their.'

I smiled for the first time all night. 

 

I looked back at him, he was poking his eyes over the curtain. I smiled at him and waved. He offered a small wave back, I could see his bright smile through his eyes. 

This was worth the abuse from the fans. 

'We should tell the guys today.' he said. 

'Why?' I asked. 

'Because I want to be more open' 

I looked back at him and smiled. 

"Yeah, let's." I said. He pushed the curtain back and jumped out of his bunk. He was in a pair of red boxer briefs and nothing else. I blushed and pretended not to stair. Josh and I havent... done anything yet, It's a bit hard when you live on a bus with 2 other people. 

"Have you been on social media at all?" I asked. 

"Yes," He said. I looked up at him, he stopped in front of me and took my hand off of my legs. "I'm sorry." He said. 

"don't be sorry it's my fault." I said. "I shouldn't have trusted Brannon, I knew she was a bit fame hungry." I looked up at him and he looked down at me and carresed my tear stained cheek with his thumb.

"Wanna go around London today?" He asked. 

"Fuck yeah." I said.

"Alright" He said smiling and dropping my hand. I frowned and rested my head on my knees. I suddenly realized something. 

I rolled off of the couch and scrambled forward. 

"I Call the shower first!" I yell whispered, pushing Josh out of the way, grabbing my toilettries bag and towell from my bed and running into the bathroom. 

"Shit!" Tyler hissed. I laughed and turned on the shower. 

I showered really quickly and dried off, my green hair was starting to turn yellow, I sneered. And I didn't bring any hair dye. I'm an idiot. I changed into the X-files shirt, black shorts and a way too big black and grey flannel. I did my make up, eyeshadow, winged eyeliner and tinted lipbalm. I walked out and Tyler was up. 

"Morning." Tyler said. 

"Morning." I responded. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah" He said. "Did you?" 

"Yeah I slept alright." I responded. 

I looked over at Josh who was hopping into his jeans. He zipped up and looked at me. He stepped towards me and jabbed his hand into Andy's bunk. Andy OOFed and rolled out.

"Dude!" He cried. 

"Wake up I got something to tell you." He said. 

Andy reluctanty sat next to Tyler and crossed his arms like a child who has to eat his veggies before dessert. 

Josh's arm rested comfortably on my shoulder. 

"Cat and I are going out." 

Tyler broke into a smile. 

"Sick" He said with an adorable, cheeky smile spreading across his face. I laughed and leaned into Josh. 

"Alright, glad you told us." Andy said, neutrally. 

There was an awkward minute of silence before Andy broke it, standing up and getting some coffee. Tyler went back to his bunk and started rifling around. 

"Wanna go?" I asked. 

"Yeah" Josh said. 

We seperated and grabbed our jackets, I put a leather jacket on over the flannel and Josh slid a black sweatshirt on over the longsleeve black shirt he was wearing. He pulled the quartz necklace over the shirt and patted it in place on his chest. I have to ask him about that necklace. I pulled my beanie off my head and shoved it onto his, covering all of his hair. He flipped up the hoodie too. I grabbed a pair of alien sunglasses sitting on the table and slid them on his eyes. He laughed and took them off, throwing them on the couch. 

"Wait!" I lept back and rifled through my backpack, I pulled out a mirrorless camera and put it around my neck. I turned to see Josh roll his eyes. 

"What?!" I cried antagonistically. 

"You're a stereotype." He said. 

"Oh yeah like the shirtless drummer isn't a stereotype." I said rolling my eyes. 

We didn't show any affection or anything yet because people were camping out outside the venue already. They didn't seem to notice us, the beanie and hood were working. 

"You think we should tell them?"

"What? We just did?" He asked confused. 

"No I mean the fans."

He clenched his jaw, hard,staring straight ahead as he thought. 

"I mean... They kind of know anyway." He said shrugging "And... I'm... hoping this will.. last. So I guess it's better to tell them before they figure it out." My heart fluttered and I wanted to kiss him. 

"Aw babe" I said grabbing his waist and pulling him into a short hug as we walked. "I'm hoping this lasts too." I said, my face half pressed into his chest. 

He stopped and swept me into a deep kiss. His hand grabbing my waist and his mouth pushing me backwards. I kissed him back but realized the fans were right down the street. Fuck it. 

We made our way to the London Eye. I looked at it in awe. It was so much bigger than I thought it would be. I looked up at it and giggled.

"You afraid of heights?" He asked putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Nope" I said looking at him smiling. His eyes glittered. 

"Are you?" I asked. 

"Of course not." He said. We both smiled and got in line. We got onto a car with a few other people. We both stood against a rail at the nose and he placed his hands on my waist. 

Everyone settled in and it started moving. He pulled the hood down and we watched the London skyline rise. It was gorgeous. 

I glanced at Josh, he was staring at me. I laughed. 

"What are you doing?" I asked laughing. 

"Enjoying the view" He said smiling. I fake gagged. 

"Ew" I said laughing. 

"Why ew" He laughed. I rolled my eyes and kissed him. I slid my arm around his waist and hugged him watching the scenery. 

I felt his chin rest on the top of my head. I nestled my head into the crook of his neck. 

We watched for a long while until I felt a tap on my shoulder and spun around in shock. It was a nice looking old woman. 

"Would you like me to take your picture sweeties? You both look so lovely." She had a thick Irish accent. We both smiled and nodded and I handed her my camera. I explained how to use it and we posed with each other, his arm on my shoulder and my arm wrapped around his waist, resting my head on his chest. 

She took the picture, it was great, the lighting wasn't amazing but both of us looked cute. I smiled and thanked the lady and the eye ended up where we started. 

We hopped off and took another picture in front of it. We were kissing in eachother's arms, silhouetted by the sunlight. 

I transferred it onto my phone and did some editing. Josh hugged me from behind, nestling his head onto my shoulder and handed me a hot tea. I pressed post, no caption.

"Break the internet" I whispered dramatically. He laughed and kissed my neck. I sipped my tea and closed my eyes as he pulled me close, savoring his and the tea's warmth. 

I raised my phone and took a selfie with him. He was kissing my cheek and I was scrunching my face. Then one where we were kissing. 

"You're gorgeous" He said. 

"How can you even say that when you see that fucking face in the mirror every day." I said forcing myself out of his arms. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back. 

"Shut up" He said. "Let's walk back to the bus."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***********************POSSIBLE ANXIETY TRIGGER WARNING*********************************  
> I don't have anxiety but I've helped people who do during anxiety attacks, so hopefully this is accurate but I can never be completely sure what helps. 
> 
> The day I'm posting this the US just bombed Syria so if we're at war with Russia by the time I finish this book... hey, how's that going? 
> 
> I'm kidding, probably, hopefully. 
> 
> I'm gonna go now. 
> 
> Have a great day, If anyone from a different country is willing to marry me so I could get the hell out of here that'd be fucking fantastic.

A meet and greet, they were having a meet and greet and I was helping out with it. I sat at the table sketching, bored. I didn't really need to be there but Josh insisted I "Help out the photographer." Every once in awhile we'd exchange looks between fans. He seemed a bit on edge. Doing weird things with his arms and standing awkwardly. 

They were having a break and Josh practically rushed backstage. I furrowed my brows and followed him. I walked around for a bit and couldn't find him. Suddenly I found him, almost tripping over him as he sat on the ground against a road box. 

He was crying. His knees almost to his chest and his breathing strange an irregular. 

"Josh!" I said crouching down, putting my hand on his arm. "What's happening? Are you alright?" 

"I-I-I-I'm having an anxiety attack." He managed to say. 

"Shit" I said. "What do I do?" I asked. He shrugged. 

I slid down on the box next to him and rested my head on his shoulder, sliding my arm around his stomach and holding him. 

We sat like this for a long time, he did some breathing exercises and other exercises but nothing was really seeming to help. 

I felt helpless, and awful. His hands were shaking and his breathing was still weird. I tried to look up anxiety relief things but nothing seemed on. 

"Josh! Three minutes!" Andrew yelled. Josh let out a strange whimper. I pushed myself up to my knees and grabbed his hands. 

"Josh Dun," I said calmly. "I believe in you, you can do this." I said, he was looking up at me with dull eyes, tears forming on the water line. 

"This is just your brain" I said. "You're just having an anxiety attack, everything's fine." I said running my fingers along the sides of his shaved head. 

"Now you have to get back out there soon, you think you can?" He seemed a bit calmer. He nodded. 

"Good, I hope I did alright." I said. 

"You did great." He said after a bit of hesitation. I smiled and kissed him. I stood up and offered him a hand, he took it and I pulled him up. I wiped the tears from his eyes, fixing his red eyeshadow and ruffled his hair as we approached the area. 

He resumed his place with Tyler and they gave each other a knowing look and nodded at each other.

I sat back in my place and continued to sketch. I drew Tyler, his black covered arms and finger sprouting into roots of a tree and his throat turning into the trunk of a tree. When I was done my charcoal was covering my hands too. 

The photographer called me over to take over for him for a bit and I did. We only had like 10 minutes left. 

A few more people came and went without incident. Most of them were lovely, giving Josh and Tyler little things they made, one gave Tyler a little Kitchen Sink ceramic and he laughed, scrunching up his face. Most of them ignored me, some looked at me and I could tell they recognized me but It wasn't till this one girl until someone actually said my name. 

"Cat!" She cried. I jumped as arms wrapped around me. I looked to Josh and Tyler in confusion. They shrugged. "I love your work, so much." she said.

"Wow, I'm so glad." I said half laughing. "I wasn't expecting anything like this." 

She pulled away from me and looked up at me with the same glitter in her eyes that Josh has when he looks at me. "You're amazing." She said She put her hand in her pocket and handed me a bracelet. It looked like a canon camera lens, a 35mm. I gasped. 

"WOah!" I cried. "This is so sick!" I said sliding it on my arm. She smiled and giggled giddily. "Thank you so much." A security guard shuffled her to Tyler and Josh and they took a picture. 

"I'm so glad you and Cat are dating, I ship it so hard." She said. Josh smiled and laughed looking up at me. 

"Thank you." He said. "I'm glad too." I put my hand on my heart and smiled at him. 

She was ushered away and the rest of the day went smoothly. The last person left and Josh walked up to me, aspirated and rested his head on my shoulder with a sigh. I put my hand on the back of his head and ran my fingers through his hair. 

Tyler made eye contact with me and smiled. I smiled back and pressed my lips against Josh's shoulder. 

"Let's get dinner." I said. 

"Sounds great." He said. 

We were staying in London for another day so we had plenty of time. We all took a cab to an "Authentic English Pup" as stated in an awful british accent by Tyler. 

It had a low ceiling, so low Josh felt he had to slop down a bit. My short ass had no worries. The lighting was low and orange, my least favorite kind of lighting. Hard to shoot in, hard to make anything look good, especially portraits. 

We sat down and Tyler ordered for us, getting the most british things on the menu of course. 

Josh seemed to loosen up at the table, everyone was laughing and talking and drinking.

"And then, Steph shot vodka out through her nose and was crying for 2 hours after because it burned so much." the drum tech said laughing. I laughed, Josh looked at me, his face was all scrunched up and happy. I couldn't help but smile at him and hold his neck, running my finger along his jawbone. 

My heart felt like it was going to burst, I love seeing him like this, especially after... earlier. I love his smile, I love his laugh, his sense of humor, his brain. I love.. Him

I slid my hand down his neck and let it fall onto my lap. He leans forward and kisses me. 

I went back to my food and the stories being told. Josh rested his hand on my hip and started a story about Tyler and him. I was so happy, but there was this creeping feeling in the back of my head. I ignored it and leaned my head on his shoulder.


End file.
